


3 Years, 6 Months, 5 Hours (and the 365 days after that)

by GingerLocks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship is Magic, Misunderstandings, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Unrequited Love, picking and choosing pieces from Civil War, what even is Ultron?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-07-29 09:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerLocks/pseuds/GingerLocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you have a crush on your friend?<br/>Well if you're Steve Rogers, you'll avoid her like the plague.</p><p>What do you do when that plan backfires in the worst way possible?<br/>I'm seriously asking here because Steve has no clue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> So because I am in the middle of my wintershock story I realised that now was a great time for another shieldshock multichap -.-

**The Day Before**

 

_ Friday 5:36 PM _

 

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky called casually from the couch, where he’d been scrolling through Netflix for the past half hour. 

“Yeah?” Steve called back from the kitchen he had chased Bucky out of, that snacking fiend, half an hour ago. 

“Darcy’s coming by in fifteen.”

 

Steve paused with his hand stretched out for the oven mitt. 

The girl he'd wanted to avoid for the past few weeks was coming over. 

Steve cleared his throat and put on the oven mitt, “you think she wants dinner?”

“Nah, she’s eating before she comes over to watch some Netflix with me,” Bucky turned around and looked at through the little window between the kitchen and living room, “you’re welcome to join us.”

“No, that’s alright.” Steve pulled the roast out of the oven and set it on the counter next to the sauce, potatoes and broccoli. “Dinner’s done, get it while it’s hot.”

Bucky grabbed the back of the couch and hoisted his body gracefully over it. ‘Parkour’, Darcy called it, ‘parkour but without the running because you guys are so strong you don’t even need a momentum to jump great hurdles, apparently.’

 

_Darcy was coming here._

 

Steve swallowed most of his dinner without even tasting it, too distracted by the funny feeling in his tummy. His burnt tongue would heal before he finished eating anyway. 

“You in a hurry there?” Bucky asked, watching him inhale his food in amusement. 

Steve nodded, “Sam” he said by a way of explanation. 

 

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him, but shrugged it off when Steve took a second helping of potatoes. 

 

Steve had just managed to clean his plate when the doorbell rang, Bucky got up to buzz Darcy in and Steve took a moment to gather himself, quickly putting his dishes in the dishwasher and fleeing to his room.

He inhaled deeply and looked himself in the mirror above his dresser.

_ Get a grip Steve, it’s just a stupid crush, you’ll get over it. _

Letting his breath out, he picked up his cell from the charging station on the nightstand, and walked into the living room. 

“Hey, Steve!” Darcy beamed at him, in the process of taking her coat of.

“Darcy, great to see you. Sorry I can’t stay.” He picked up his shoes and sat on the bench to tie them.

“No worries, it was last minute and we are just going to catch up on some of the shows I already caught you up on years ago.” She kicked off her own shoes and he grabbed the closest jacket. Darcy was right in front of him, almost as if she expected him to say something and she was blocking the door until he did.

“Oh here,” Darcy spun and grabbed his wallet and keys from the little table next to her hip, handed them to him, threw her arms around his middle for a quick hug, let go and got out of his way, “see you around, Steve!”

Steve blinked at her, half pleased that she’d hugged him and half mad that he'd let her. 

“You too, thanks,” he held up his wallet and key awkwardly and left the apartment, slamming the door shut just a bit harder than he meant to.

 

“Get a grip,” he muttered to himself as he walked down the stairs. At least he would get to work out this tension on the boxing bag with Sam in an hour. 

 

_ 11:45 PM _

 

He and Sam trained until Sam called it, showered and went out for a carb load. There was a great greasy spoon around the corner from the gym that served amazing burgers and stayed open until midnight, so getting a burger and fries, with a side of burger and fries for Steve, after a good workout had become a tradition. 

After the late night meal Steve’d been reluctant to go home. Knowing Darcy and her marathons, she’d still be there, giving excessive commentary through a whole season of whatever they were watching, staying till past midnight. 

So he’d texted Nat, taking her up on the offer to meet while she was in town, and agreed to meet in a bar a few blocks away. 

“Any reason why you are suddenly interested in meeting up for drinks?” Natasha asked as she sat down in the booth opposite him.

“Any reason why you are suddenly interested in telling us that you’re in town?” Steve countered and slid her beer across the table to her. 

Natasha quirked her eyebrow but remained otherwise passive. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she gave, realising he would not answer her question first. 

“I am making a lifestyle change,” she admitted, taking a sip of her beer, “I have made a lot of new covers, and while I was lying and on the move, I realised that I would like to have a home base.”

“You moving into the tower?” Steve asked, a little surprised, “or are you going to move into Clint’s place?”

“I never said I would have a home base in New York City.”

Steve rolled his eyes at her, she smiled.

“No. I am looking for something a little more… not near Stark.”

“Hear, hear,” Steve raised his beer to her and took another swig. 

“I’m looking for a place while I’m here. Would you mind keeping an eye out for me?” 

“Anything you’re looking for in particular?”

“I have no budget, I just want somewhere simple, maybe in Brooklyn, I could also do Queens,” Steve grimaced at that, making her smile, “I just want a room with a balcony, or a fire escape, and a nice homey feel to it.”

“I hate to break it to you, but that warm homey feeling is something you have to make on your own. Usually by living there.”

It was Nat’s turn to roll her eyes. “Whatever, Rogers.”

Steve laughed, taking another sip. 

“So who or what is at your apartment that makes you want to avoid it?” 

Steve almost choked on his beer. 

 

**Day 1**

_Saturda y 1:03 AM_

 

Steve opened the door to his apartment and welcomed the sight of a dark living room at the end of the hallway. Quickly kicking off his shoes, hanging up his jacket and throwing his keys and wallet on the table by the door, he padded through the dark hallway to the bathroom.

He could hear the sound of flushing and hands being washed so he waited for Bucky to be done. He didn’t mind sharing a one bathroom apartment with Bucky. He’d worked damned hard to find his best friend again, and then worked relentlessly to get him out of his cell at the tower. Darcy had helped a lot. Throwing legal documents and quick wit at the anyone who deemed Bucky too dangerous to live a life without supervision. After months of work Bucky had finally been released to Steve’s custody, and Steve had immediately made his art and workout room into a bedroom for him, Darcy had helped him there too. She’d braved IKEA with him, and he was forever grateful for it. That day would have been a new day of fresh hell, if Darcy hadn’t messed around in all those small rooms, and joked with the Swedish names on the furniture. 

The bathroom door clicked open and Steve shook himself out of his musings, looking the doorway, then freezing.

“Darcy?”

She was clad in a t-shirt that was too big for her and looked suspiciously like one of his own, her makeup was off and she looked up and smiled at him, “hey, you’re home.”

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly feeling awkward, trying not to think about why she was still here and wearing that. 

“Well, goodnight. Sleep tight,” she yawned before padding down the hall and into Bucky’s room, closing the door firmly behind her.

 

Steve stood in the hallway, staring after her. 

 

His insides felt like lead, his chest felt tight and his nose tickled. 

He shook himself out of his stance and locked himself into the bathroom, turning the tap on and getting out his toothbrush. Looking his reflection in the eyes in the mirror like he had done seven hours earlier, he repeated his mantra.

“It’s just a crush,” he whispered, low enough so Bucky wouldn't hear him.

 

_ But it’s not though.  _

 

Steve frowns at the thought, because he realised it was right. This wasn’t just a crush. 

 

Darcy Lewis came into his life when she stormed into the Stark Tower, looking for Thor and demanded he explain why he never called Jane. Three years, six months and approximately nine hours ago, Darcy Lewis had sat herself down on the couch next to him and asked him what he was doing. Three years, six months and approximately eight hours ago, Darcy Lewis had gone through the huge Shield folder of things to catch up on, and started plotting how to get him caught up with pop culture as well. 

 

Three years, six months and five hours ago, Steve Rogers had fallen for Darcy Lewis. 

 

At the exact moment he realised just how head over heals he was, she was crawling into bed with his best friend. 

 

And Steve knew he could never act on it, because even though he was in love with Darcy, he’d loved Bucky most of his life, and wanted him to finally be happy. So if they made each other happy, then why, oh why, should he ruin it for them just because he was too slow and too scared to act sooner?

Steve brushed his teeth and washed his face, before making his way down the hall to his bedroom, resolutely not looking at Bucky’s door on the way there.

 

_ Besides, it’s not like you weren’t trying to get over her. Here’s your incentive. Nothing can ever happen between you, this is your closure.  _

 

And though he should have felt relief, all he could feel while he laid awake in bed, struggling both to eavesdrop and to block out all sounds at the same time, completely at war with himself, was the same ache he’d felt when he woke up in this new century. 

_[Love lost.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiGRoy5SPK8)_

 


	2. DNA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is dealing... I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own, thank you guys for reading and responding!!

####  **Day 24**

####  _Tuesday 2:02 PM_

 

It had been weeks since Steve Rogers had realised he was in love with Darcy Lewis, almost a whole month in fact.

Steve had kept busy, sticking to his original plan, the plan he had while it was still just a crush. To get over her he’d have to stop relying on her. And the first step to stop relying on her was to stop relying on her to invite him out for activities and start taking the initiative himself.

Therefor he'd take initiative. For the past three weeks, he had gone out exploring. He’d tried out all the food carts around Central Park, gone to every art exhibit he’d found, be it at the MoMa or an abandoned warehouse in Hell's Kitchen, seen the new blockbusters, and gone apartment hunting with Natasha.

 

“This one looks great,” Steve assessed, checking the taps in the kitchen sink, “it’s even got a dishwasher.”

“I don’t mind doing dishes,” Natasha shrugged as she spun around in the living room, “I don’t like this either though.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, and gathered his patience. It’s not that he didn’t want Natasha to have the home she wanted, but Natasha obviously did not know what she wanted.

“Let me guess, this is not ‘homey’ or ‘lived in’ enough?”

Natasha looked down at her feet before answering.

“What if I’m just not meant to have a home, Steve.” She whispered, barely audible, avoiding his gaze.

It was rare for Natasha to show vulnerability, so Steve didn’t make a big deal out of it, knowing he appreciated it when she did the same for him.

“Nonsense, you’ll find a place.” He assured her, before fishing his phone out of his pocket, texting the realtor that they were done looking and would swing by her office with the keys.

“How about this; there is an off-Broadway show that I have heard great things about, I got two tickets for Friday. You come see it with me and then we’ll go to that Ukrainian place and you’ll tell me of the places you can think of that come closest to feeling home.”

Natasha gave him a tiny smile and nodded at him, “I’ll see your silly musical with you, if you're paying.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I can even pick you up and treat you like a date,” Steve smirked, Nat rolled her eyes.

“Dating you and your 40’s values would be a serious cramp on my dating style, Rogers.”

“You know what, Romanoff?” Steve warned her, but he couldn’t keep a smile of his face.

  


_5:23 PM_

 

For the first time in over three weeks, Steve didn’t have an excuse to miss dinner when Bucky texted him. Natasha had left to do her spying thing with Clint, he guessed, and Sam was visiting his family in Virginia. Stark was in Malibu with Pepper and Steve didn’t have Thor’s number, so he couldn’t call him either. Steve’s circle of friends didn’t really reach further than that, so it was with great trepidation that he opened his front door.

“Hey Steve!” Bucky called from the kitchen, “come set the table!”

Steve kicked off his shoes and noted that Darcy’s boots were laying by the shoe rack, he felt his stomach fall, and cursed Bucky’s super hearing. He could have easily snuck out and said he couldn’t make it had it not been for Bucky hearing his keys jingle in the lock.

He cursed his own super hearing as well, late at night when he could hear Darcy’s muffled moans and Bucky’s quiet groans, the rhythmic thumping of the headboard hitting the wall, and, worst; Darcy calling Bucky’s name as she came.

Steve braced himself and started towards the kitchen.

It was not like he’d seen a lot of Darcy since she’d gotten together with Bucky, actually his plans of avoiding her had worked out great for the first two weeks. Darcy had worked all day, and didn't come over until late night, and he only found out because she insisted on buzzing the doorbell when she arrived, even at eleven PM. But in the past few days she’d been here constantly, he’d even seen her carry a gigantic bag when they passed in the hallway, and he was afraid that she might be moving in, unofficially, with Bucky. If she did, he’d have to find a new place, let the lovebirds have this place and take one of those great apartments that Natasha had turned down.

Just the thought stung, so Steve quickly discarded it. It was too soon to move in. They may have been raised in the 20’s and 30s, but Steve knew Bucky was not the type to jump into deep commitments too fast.

Dot had to practically beg him to go steady with her and even then he had taken his time before finally agreeing, and breaking up with her a week after.

He could only hope this still was Bucky’s pattern… And hope he did.

“Is Darcy eating here too?” Steve asked as he got the cutlery out of the drawer, Bucky grunted an affirmative answer, so Steve picked out extra cutlery.

“Mmm, that smells yummy! What is it?” Darcy asked as she emerged from the bathroom, beautiful as ever, with her hair wet and wearing pyjamas. They sat down as Bucky placed the food on the table in front of them.

“Casserole,” he said.

Steve felt the sudden urge to make Darcy smile, he hadn’t seen her smile for weeks and he missed it.

“It’s the only thing Bucky can make,” Steve told her, and got his shin kicked under the table, “that, and a chicken soup,” he amended, frowning at Bucky.

Darcy laughed, and Steve felt his chest tighten again.

_Act normal, you gotta get through this meal._

“It’s been forever since I’ve seen you Steve, did you read that book I leant you?”

_Yes, I read it and you were quite right I did not care for the characterizations but the plot was well written and intriguing._

“No, I haven’t had the time,” Steve said instead, focusing on his food so Darcy wouldn’t see his lying face. But if he told her he’d read it, then she’d want to discuss it, and he loved discussing and debating with her and it was what he craved doing after every one of the art shows and theatre productions he’d seen lately.

But after the discussion she would bring him another book, and then the cycle would repeat itself and staying away from Darcy would be harder. He could discover and enjoy things without Darcy holding his hand and leading him like a toddler.

“You’ve been quite busy lately,” Darcy commented, stabbing a piece of carrot with her fork and waving it accusingly at him, “leaving your friends behind to do cool shit without them.”

“You’ve been busy too,” Steve shrugged and glanced at Bucky, who was staring back at him as he chewed thoughtfully.

“Not that busy,” Darcy said with a slight blush high on her cheek, “but yeah, there is some stress I’m dealing with right now and my workload doubled after I accepted Starks offer.”

“Is the just from having to work for Stark, or is it another source of stress?” Steve asked, glad to latch onto anything that wasn’t her relationship with Bucky. He was not quite in a place to be happy for them yet, and until he was he didn’t think he could lie about it. If he didn’t find a way to be fine with it soon though, he’d have to tell Bucky, and he didn’t think he could do that to him.

“Thor and Jane are taking a major step in their relationship. As of next month I will be homeless.”

Steve looked up at her questioningly, “Jane is kicking you out of your apartment?”

“No, but she is moving out. She’s quitting her job so she can work for free on Asgard with her boyfriend for six months, and I can’t afford the rent without her.”

“Thor is on Earth?” Steve asked, not having heard anything about it at his weekly meeting with Maria Hill.

“No, they keep in touch via Heimdal and that communicator thingy Jane built last time he was here.”

“I said Darcy could stay here as long as she needed,” Bucky told him, watching him closely to see what Steve’s reaction would be. Steve nodded absentmindedly and he thought over her predicament.

The rest of the meal became a long discussion of Game of Thrones, season three, after Steve asked them what plans they had this weekend. He was thankful when Bucky’s answer was “See how worse it can get for the Starks after the red wedding.” and not “have sex, please be out when we do it on the couch,” like it had been the time Steve had asked him about Dot.

  


####  **Day 27**

####  _Friday 9:49 PM_

 

“That wasn’t all bad,” Natasha told him when they left the theatre and made their way to the Ukrainian place she loved. “The actors were amazing, but the lighting needed work, and the choreography was a little sub par, but they made up for most of it with their singing.”

Steve nodded, he’d liked the show too, and hoped it would make it to Broadway.

They walked in companionable silence until they came to the restaurant.

“Get me two of whatever you want,” Steve shrugged and handed over his wallet, he had promised to pay after all.

He got a place at the back of the restaurant, one that Nat would approve of, where she could sit with her back to a corner and have full view of the room and out of the window.

“So,” she started when she sat down in the seat he’d left her, throwing his wallet to him as she did, “I made a list and the list was too short to need a list.”

She took out a sticky note and stuck it to his wallet.

 

_\- The red house I shared with my husband_

_\- Maria’s DC house_

_\- Clint’s place with the coffee stench._

_\- Steve and Bucky’s place if I have to write more._

 

Steve glanced over the list and realised what Natasha had meant when she wanted ‘homey’ and smiled at her.

“How would you feel about having a roommate?”

 

[DNA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUV6DnuWjHs)   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kirakira01 mentioned that she liked the song thing I did for last chapter so I did it for this one too! Thank you!
> 
> I'm going to be in charge of 13 and 14 year olds and write, direct and perform a play with them in the next week, so I'll probably won't be able to update this fic for a week.. or two, because the week after that I am going to lead the freshman week for my college uni and trust me my grammar is horrible when I'm drunk.


	3. Left Hand Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha meets Darcy, and Bucky has a startling revelation that Steve doesn't quite know how to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry! I am one of the few people in charge of the "fadderuke" I guess you can call it freshman week or something. Anyway, I was a workshop leader at theatre camp and now I'm organizing drunk people. Long story short I am in a "too tired to think" phase right now!

**Day 35**

_ Saturday, 18:45 PM _

 

“Tadah!” 

Darcy spread her arms wide, beaming at the room in front of her. The living room was a mess. Boxes in various shapes and sizes filled every surface, mountains of papers and books almost toppling where they were piled on top of the boxes, clothes and various gadgets, held together by duct tape and sheer force of will, mixed in between. The only space cleared was the one couch cushion Darcy had claimed as her own whenever Steve had been over for movie night. 

“Homey,” Nat commented, face neutral, but eyes filled with mirth.

“Lived in,” Steve added, struggling hard to contain his own smile.

“Sorry, I know it’s kinda messy,” Darcy sheepishly dropped her arms and spun to look at them, knocking a pile of papers over in the process, “crap!”

Steve crouched down and handed her papers as she tried to recreate the pile.

“Jane is moving, and she sucks at packing, I am for real, she is the worst. I left her to sort the papers into boxes and instead of getting new boxes when these were full, she just kept on adding to them!” Darcy reached behind the couch for a new box and scooped the overflowing papers into it. “Not that there even is a system!” She whined as she regarded the boxes.

“If you come back next week, I’ll have finished this up for her, and you can see what it normally looks like. Although-” she dropped the gadget she’d picked up onto the couch and walked to the door in the corner, “-now that Jane’s shit is all here, you can see what the bedroom looks like.”

Nat made her way gracefully through the mess and across the room to join Darcy in the doorway, Steve followed. 

The room was indeed empty. There was a bed by the window, as far away from the side of the apartment where Darcy’s rooms were, and the built-in closet was empty off clothes. Steve remembered helping a drunk Jane home and had barely found the bed in all the crap that was now in the living room. 

Natasha looked around the room, dwelling by the huge window and the tiny balcony outside, nodded to herself, before moving on.

“So?” Darcy asked, anxiously twisting her hands as Natasha peeked into the little en suite bathroom.

“I’ll take it.”

“It’s yours!” Darcy exclaimed, almost before Natasha had managed to get the words out. 

Steve gave Natasha thumbs up over Darcy’s shoulder. 

 

They gather around the kitchen island as Darcy and Natasha go through the paperwork, and Steve helps himself to a pack of poptarts. Now that Jane was moving, he doubted Darcy would ever buy more. 

“So sign here and then that’s it! Once Jane is outta here I’ll text you, and you can move on right in.”  

Steve smiled at the exuberant excitement on Darcy’s face, but quickly looked away when he saw the edge of a love bite peeking up from her collar, a sober reminder of why he was doing this.

Natasha and Darcy made small talk and Steve followed quietly after them into the hallway. 

After a round of hugs and kisses, Darcy waved goodbye as they left.

“So, that’s Darcy,” Natasha commented, Steve searched her face for any indication of where this topic was going to end up, but her face was as passive as ever.

“Yes,” Steve answered, and pushed the elevator button. Natasha met his eyes as they waited.

“The girl you’ve been avoiding like the plague for the past month and a half.”

Steve cleared his throat before answering, “yes,” because there was no point in lying to Natasha. She gave him that knowing look of hers, the one that made him feel like she was an all knowing deity walking among men. The elevator pinged and opened for them. 

“Good luck with that,” she said casually as they entered the elevator. 

“Thanks,” he grunted and pushed the button for Lobby. 

Steve knew that introducing Natasha to Darcy would come back to bite him in the ass, but at least Darcy won’t move into Bucky’s room.

 

###  **Day 68**

_ Thursday 3:47 PM _

 

Natasha and Darcy living together turned out better than Steve had expected. Not only was Darcy so adamant that Nat should like her and have the homiest place in the world, but now that Jane was no longer living there, Bucky, who not only had a rational fear of doctors who prodded at his arm, but also didn’t like strangers, started hanging out more and more in Darcy’s apartment. 

This meant Steve could relax and actually come home when he wanted to come home with only a 20% chance of seeing Darcy and Bucky together. The late night visits were still a thing, but Steve had invested in a pair of noise cancelling headphones and was working his way through the CDs Sam had given him. And there were a lot of CDs. Sam had apparently cleaned out his collection last time he was home, just for Steve to catch up on ‘the right’ music.

He had gotten into the habit of wearing the headphones no matter if Darcy spent the night or not, only knowing some mornings when he caught a glimpse of her on her way out. She never made a big deal of it, but every time he saw her in his apartment the morning after, shouting a hurried goodbye to Bucky, he’d need an extra hour in the gym. 

All in all, during the past month he’d only had two conversations with Darcy, having two ex assassins in her life really helped Steve avoid her… On the downside, he missed her with the intensity of a thousand suns. 

Also Natasha was prone to mention Darcy whenever she and Steve did anything together. Apparently all the energy Natasha had spent on matchmaking had only been put on hold since Bucky had resurfaced.

 

“You got any plans on Saturday?” Natasha asked as she made a swipe for his legs. Steve jumped over them and rolled to the other side of the mat, trying to grab her wrist as he did but she dodged it easily. 

“Unless we get a call to assemble, I don’t think so.”

Natasha rolled away from him, standing at the other side of the mat casually like they were not in the middle of sparring.

“I wanted to check out the new bar on the corner by the laundromat where your suit dyed all your shirts blue.”

Steve frowned and dropped his defencive stance, crossing his arms. “I thought you said you weren’t going to bring that up again.”

Natasha sprung at him, hands coming towards his face, but changing last minute to punch him in the kidney, he blocked her easily, using her momentum to get her body closer, so he had a chance of pinning her. She in turn used that same momentum to coil her body around him and climb up so she could get her thighs around his neck and squeeze the living breath out of him. He’d been at the end of such an attack too many times to fall for this again, and jammed his elbow into the inside of her knee, making her lose her grip. She fell to the floor and stayed there with his foot on her neck, only perching herself up on her elbows after he removed it. 

“I don’t want to go,” Steve admitted, wiping his sweaty top lip with the collar of his shirt, Natasha moved fast, swiping his feet from under him and pinning his arms awkwardly under his own, and her, weight.

“You’re going,” she told him, her hand pulling his hair so hard he was afraid he’d get a bald spot there. “You are going to spend time with your friends, and you are going to talk to Darcy for more than two minutes, even if it’s about the  _ fucking _ weather.”

Steve managed to free one hand and instead of untangling himself from Natasha, he tapped the mat twice and Natasha let of his hair and ear. 

“Fine,” Steve said, not looking at Natasha, sulking back to his bag to gather his stuff and head for the showers. It’s not as if he couldn’t leave when he’d done what Nat wanted.

“And you’ll behave?” Natasha asked, this time teasing, so Steve just rolled his eyes at her. 

“Mature.”

“You know what, Romanoff?”   
  


**Day 70**

_ Saturday night. _

 

It was fun. 

Hawkeye and Kate bishop came. Steve avoided singing karaoke like the plague and had a long discussion with Darcy about the book she’d been nagging him to read for the past month. It was fine. A little like before he decided some distance would be best, except when she wanted to dance she now hooked her arm around Bucky’s and let him lead her in a fast swing. 

Bucky was much better than Steve at dancing. Steve was good at moving, but his body was more apt for action and reaction without a set rhythm that could slow him down. 

A set rhythm was kind of important when dancing though, so the few times Darcy had managed to convince him to twirl her around in Stark Tower before, he’d thought too hard and fucked up. 

He was having a pleasant night anyway, getting to know the Hawkeyes better and playing drinking games with Natasha. After Kate joined them he realised how brutal they must be for anyone without high metabolism. Seeing as Kate got too drunk to play the last round. 

Steve volunteered to get her home when she pulled her car keys out of her purse to hand them to the other drunk Hawkeye.  

He ended up driving both Hawkeyes to Clint’s place because Clint had coffee and eggs and a kitchen. And Kate’s hotel room did not. There was also a long love profession from the both of them to Pizza Dog. 

So it was past 2 AM when he finally got home to his own apartment, wanting nothing more than to fall into bed and sleep before he could replay the dancing between Bucky and Darcy, that he’d kept an eye on, over and over until sleep eluded him. 

But Bucky was sitting on the couch alone, in the middle of season five of Game of Thrones, the episode Steve himself had watched last week. He paused and looked through the doorway into the hall, not seeing Darcy’s shoes or bag, before joining Bucky on the couch. 

“Where is your girlfriend?” Steve asked casually, well, forced casual. He hoped the tense tone was only noticed by himself as he reached into the bag of potato chips that Bucky was cradling. Bucky frowned at him, distracted enough by his question for Steve to easily slip the bag from his clutches. 

“What girlfriend?” 

It was Steve’s turn to frown, munching on a handful of chips and waiting for Bucky to tell him he was joking. 

“The girl who usually watches Game of Thrones with you?” Steve said slowly, as if Bucky was stupid, “tiny brunette who you’ve been sleeping with for the past two months?”

“Darcy?” 

“Yes, who else?”

“She was never my girlfriend, Steve,” Bucky rolled his eyes and snatched the chips bag back before Steve finished it. 

“What?”

“Yeah,” Bucky shrugged, queueing up the next episode, “we were, ah what did she call it… Friends with Benefits.”

What. 

“What?”

“You know. Friends with Benefits? Fuckbuddies, no strings attached, just friends who sometimes fuck?”

Steve just blinked at him. 

“C’mon Steve. It's not like we didn't know people with these kinds of arrangements before the war. It's just more modern now. With a whole set of rules. No romantics, no flirting in public, just physical sex to bang out some tension until one of us decides they do not want to do it anymore. We stopped doing it like two weeks ago.”

Steve frowned, blinking at his friend yet again, trying to wrap his head around the idea that Bucky didn't have feelings for Darcy. 

Should he tell Buck about his undying, no matter how much he tried to smother it, love for Darcy?

The intro started and Bucky hummed it to himself under his breath. Steve stared at the screen, pretending to watch, but his head was too filled with Darcy to even realise that the episode was over. 

“Good night,” Bucky muttered, throwing the empty chips bag and remote at him, before making his way to the bathroom.

“Steve, you know me,” Bucky lingered in the doorway, looking him over for a second, “and you know her. We’re fine. Still great pals.” 

Steve nodded but didn’t quite understand, then again, Bucky had always been quite  casual with the ladies he used to sleep with. 

This was one of the reasons why he was so hesitant to date in this century. His love for Darcy was one thing, but the complexities of modern dating… the rules, the norms, the openness of it all. It threw him, and he was just not invested enough to dive in and learn it all.

Steve goes to bed at 4 AM and knew he would regret it in the morning. He is still not quite sure what to say, what to do, how to feel.

  
But Bucky doesn’t love Darcy so Steve's heart feels a little lighter.

 

 

  [Left hand free](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRWUoDpo2fo)

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think "Left hand free" is a song about two men having a fight in a 40s speakeasy over the same girl. I found it oddly fitting? I mean they aren't really fighting but still.
> 
> Thank you all for all the comments and kudos!!


	4. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reached 50 000 hits you guys! Thank you!! Also I'm like _this_ close to 4000 kudos, so please leave some if you can!!  <3
> 
>  
> 
> PS: If you love Wintershock then skip on over to my great friend [ Lara and read her fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lara/pseuds/Lara) ;)

 

###  **Day 71**

_ Sunday 7:54 AM _

 

When Sam came knocking for their 7 AM jog, Steve was tempted to cancel, to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and contemplate what Bucky had told him. He’d barely slept a wink, but still went through the motions of his morning routine. 

Sam didn’t comment when Steve ran off, leaving him in the dust, the moment they set foot on the trail. Neither did he comment when Steve took the long route, looping all of Central Park instead of the shorter route they used to take. 

Sam did, however, comment when Steve was too preoccupied to say “on your left” as he passed him. 

The second time Steve rounded the corner, sam was ready, halfway tackling him to a stop, only actually succeeding because Steve had no wish to knock his friend out. 

“Steve, man, what’s wrong?”

Steve panted heavily, mind reeling, the physical exertion not having had any helping effect on him, he tried to gather his thoughts.

“Come on, let’s carbo-load over at Bertie’s and you can talk about what’s bothering you.”

Steve sulks but follows Sam down the path, “you’re not my shrink.” 

“No, but I am your friend.” Sam shrugged, swinging an arm over Steve’s shoulder, smiling when Steve automatically bent down to make up for the height difference. “So you’re gonna order the pancakes and fried chicken omelet, and we’re going to talk about what’s going on with you.”

Steve sighed, but still let Sam drag him to Bertie’s. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet, gotta think things through first.” 

“That’s alright, I’m here for you. You do what you gotta, just don’t leave it too long, for your own sake.” Sam said so casually, as if he hadn’t just been understanding and supportive, but merely commented on the weather. 

Darcy was right; Sam Wilson  _ is _ a gift.

###  **Day 72**

_ Monday 10:17 PM _

 

He was out running errands when he literally bumped into Dary on her way up to his building. 

“Oh sorry, didn’t see you th- Steve?” She smiled up at him and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “It’s been so long!”

“I talked to you on Saturday,” Steve smiled as he awkwardly returned the hug, cutting it short before he let it drag uncomfortably long.

“I know but we rarely hang out anymore! We gotta change that,” She smiled at him and started scrolling through her calendar on her phone. 

Steve was torn. On one hand, he wanted to avoid Darcy, being with her while they were surrounded by their friends were all right, but a one on one movie marathon or art exhibit with her was more than he could manage. 

But on the other hand, he no longer had to stay away. Bucky didn’t like Darcy like that, never had, and swore he never would. Steve had been torn between being relieved and happy, to demanding what was wrong with Darcy. His decision had been made for him when he’d gotten up to pace and realised it was, once again, four in the morning and Bucky was asleep. 

He felt like a lot of his decisions had been made for him recently, but his personal love-life (lack there-of) was not the biggest issue that needed sorting right now. 

So Steve was falling back on his original reason why he’d chosen to keep his distance, but that had been way back when he thought he only had a silly crush that would fade over time. 

It had only been two days since he found out, he thought he’d have a little longer to formulate a  different plan. A new plan… the guts to fucking say something already, to make a move. 

“Well, I’m all booked up this week, got plans with Bucky now and Tony comes back to New York tomorrow which means I got no time until Sunday… Oh! But this afternoon? After you get off work? I just downloaded a couple of great films that I thought you would like, was going to drop them off while I was over, but we could watch one of them together and order thai food.” She beamed up at him, and the offer sounded so tempting, and he was at war with himself. He didn’t know Tony was back from Malibu already, that changed his plans drastically for the week… but not enough to be a believable excuse for Darcy, who handled Tony’s scheduling.  

“That’s-” He was saved from answering by his phone blearing, calling him to suit up.

“Sorry,” he threw over his shoulder at Darcy, already half a block away when he picked up the phone.

“Some other time then!” Darcy called after him, Steve glanced over his shoulder, seeing standing there, looking after him.

 

###  **Day 75 (or was it 76?)**

_ Thursday (Friday?), whatever it was late… early. In between those two days in some way or form. _

 

He was bone tired, only having taken the time to shower and change after three (maybe four?) gruelling days in Florida, battling a sea monster who just wouldn’t die, but was hell bent on razing Key West. Clint had managed to take out most of his eyes before a tentacle had reached out and taken out Clint, and Tony had not skipped that business trip to Tokyo for this. After Doctor Cho had declared Clint would be fine (again) and forced him in a wheelchair (again) Kate had showed up to wheel him home, and Steve could finally go home and sleep for a week. 

Stumbling inside, only fumbling with the lock twice, he saw the lights were on in the hall and the TV was redoing their piece for the battle, on mute. 

Peeking over the back of the couch he saw Darcy curled up under the blanket she’d made for Bucky when he came in from the cold, phone in hand and sleeping like the dead. He frowned for a second and closed his eyes, counting to five before opening them and looking again. Yes, that was definitely Darcy asleep on his couch. 

He glanced at the TV, the monster really was as ugly as he remembered it, but it didn’t look as scary on the screen as it did in real life, and turned it off, placed her phone on the table and connected the charger. As an afterthought he opened the bag he carried his shield in, while in public, and placed the dirty Vibranium on the floor by the table. Hopefully she would see it in the morning and know he was safe and home when she woke up, and wouldn’t hit him like she had last time.

He looked at her, sleeping peacefully, dark hair in disarray, purple smudges under her eyes, the tiny spot of drool on the pillow by her mouth as she snored softly. He remembered the first time she had drooled on that couch. They had been watching the Star Wars movies and she’d fallen asleep during the ‘ _ fucking Trilogy of Jar Jar Binks. _ ’ Except it hadn’t been his pillow she’d drooled on, it’d been his chest. 

His hand twitched with the memory of them laying on the couch, her sleeping like now, curled up to him and his had running through her hair. Oh Lord! How the fucking hell had he  _ not  _ realised how in love he was back then?! 

He was tempted to just give in, just curl up, much like she had that time, right now. Just lay his head over her heart, nudge her awake, place her hand on his head and let her comb her fingers through his hair as  _ he _ drools and dreams of  _ nothing.  _

He shook himself out of the thought, before he did something stupid, like drool on her left breast. 

Distracting himself from Darcy, and the immense urge to wake her up, to talk, to analyze the fact that Darcy had stayed up waiting for him, or maybe she’d been here with Bucky for some comfort…  _ fondue,  _ while Natasha was away. Come to think of if, she might just be here because the only person she knows in this city who wasn’t in Florida is in the other room.  

Instead of dwelling on the why, he turned towards the hallway, knocking on Bucky’s door to let him know he was home and safe, before shutting himself in his own room. His bed was made, and the clothes he’d left on the chair were neatly folded and placed on his dresser. On closer inspection, his sheets had been changed since Monday. It was a toss-up, really, who had made the bed. Darcy, who liked to organise things in distressing situations, or Bucky, who hated not being able to go on missions and felt restless whenever Steve went without him. He could practically feel his brain melting out his ear when he collapsed onto the bed with his shoes and coat still on, letting sleep take him. 

 

**Day 76**

_ Friday, 15:04 PM _

It had only been three days sweating his balls off in Florida, and after almost eighteen hours of solid sleep, he woke up with more energy. He gathered some new clothes and entered the living room, hoping to see Darcy still there, but the apartment was empty and the only thing that showed him he hadn’t dreamed her last night was the post-it on his shield and the breakfast set out for him on the kitchen counter. He took the post-it with his to the bathroom and stuck it to his mirror as he shaved.  
  
_ “Sorry I had to go, but Tony needs me to come in today **. -Darcy XX ♡** ” _

He made himself blush with the intensity he was staring at her signature, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away either.

[Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLEoictM8p4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be almost twice as long but because of pacing, I decided to crop it and post the rest with the next chapter, gives me some time to flesh out some more pining (TM)
> 
> The song link doesn't really have a lot to do with this chapter, but I think if fits Steve really well i think, and I _have_ been listening to it on repeat while writing this. :)


	5. gimme that fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking, peanuts, impromptu karaoke and the worst fucking luck...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, two halves make a whole ;)

### Day 91

_ Saturday, 11:32 PM _

 

Darcy had originally organized a night out last Saturday, but after Clint had whined about not being able to come, his leg still healing after the Sea monster threw him through a building, she rescheduled to this week. Clint was still pouting, sitting in his wheelchair while Kate supplies him with alcohol and bar nuts. His spirits are raised monumentally whenever he manages to throw a nut into Darcy’s cleavage. 

Steve sat himself down next to her after the fifth peanut went in, shooting the Hawkeyes a stern glare over his shoulder, much to their amusement. Darcy just rolled her eyes and fished it out, giving Steve an eyeful of her hot pink bra, before she added it to the four others on the table. 

"Peanut gallery?" Steve asked, ignoring the peanut he could feel bouncing off his ear, she laughs, before the next peanut flies over his shoulder and hits her on the forehead.

“Stupid pigeons,” she mutters, glaring over his shoulder and Steve turns to see Kate wheel Clint over to the dartboard. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t wear such a low cut top?” Steve suggests innocently, and watches in amusement as Darcy’s face contorts in righteous fury for a second, before he cracks up.

“Joking, I’m joking,” he raises his arms in surrender, “after all the hours you spent teaching me about the modern women, you honestly think I’d tell you what to wear?”

“You troll,” Darcy laughed, throwing one of her cleavage peanuts at his face, he caught it in his mouth. “Oh shit, I forgot you were good at that!”

They spend the next hour talking, hanging out like they used to. Before Bucky, before he decided distance was the best option.

It’s fun, joking, talking, couple of drinking games they don’t take too seriously because of his metabolism. She excuses herself to go to the bathroom and Steve realises he really missed her. Missed just hanging out with her, talking to her. And even if they just stay friends, he can live with that. 

He is not sure where he wants to go with Darcy, what he wants them to be, or rather; if he is willing to risk everything. So when Darcy comes back, asking if he’d dance with her, he declines, and Darcy only gives him a searching glance before she shrugs and grabs Bucky instead.  

So he sits alone at the booth, nursing his beer as he watches her, knowing he’s placed himself in a limbo that he has no idea how to get out of, or if he even wants to. 

 

###  **Day 92**

_ Sunday  2:25 AM _

 

Steve drives Darcy and Natasha home, Bucky called shotgun. Darcy complains about the backseat the whole way, she’s a little drunk now, and Bucky keeps changing the radio in the middle of the choruses while she’s belting out as best she can.  

Steve laughs, and doesn’t even bother to intervene, even if he can override the controls on his steering wheel. Even Natasha is having a great time, teasing Darcy and smirking at Bucky. When Steve parks outside the women’s apartment building, and listens to Darcy’s heartwarming rendition of Cell Block Tango, before he turns off the engine. 

 “Thanks for the ride sweetie!” Darcy beams at him and stumbles out of the car. Steve is about to take his seatbelt off to help her upstairs, when Bucky jumps out of the car, swings his arm around Darcy and follows Natasha inside. 

Steve waits for Bucky to return to the car, but after 15 minutes of waiting, its clear that Bucky is staying, so Steve puts his seatbelt back on and drives off, back to the club to see if Kate needed help getting Clint home, with a heavy feeling in his stomach.

###  **Day 98**

_ Saturday 10:45 PM _

 

A whole week passes before he talks to Darcy again, and it’s at the same booth in the same bar as last time. They joke and laugh and have a really good time. Darcy drinks a Steve tries to ignore the fact that Bucky has been to her apartment almost every day the past week. And it’s easy to do, here in this bar, where she sits with her back to bucky and her full attention on the drinking game she’s teaching him. 

After Darcy admitted her defeat at ‘21’ she glances over to Bucky, sitting at the end of the booth and chatting with Natasha. 

“Did Bucky tell you about us?” Darcy asks, before noisily slurping the rest of her fancy drink. 

Steve blushes, “yeah, he told me about your, uh, relationship.”

She laughed, “we were fuckbuddies, Steve.” 

Steve nods, “you don’t do, uh, that, the- you’re not anymore?” He stutters, coughs and takes a sip of his beer instead of mumbling through any other of the million questions running through his head.

“Nah,” She gazes at Bucky as a smile lights up his face, “we got what we wanted from that arrangement,” she teases him, watching gleefully as he blushes, “but it’s over now.”

Steve nodded, taking another sip of his beer and watching Darcy watch Bucky. “Why was it only that, only fuckbuddies?” 

Darcy looks at him with pride for saying fuckbuddies out loud and Steve wonders when he became such a prude… Maybe it’s only because the situation was hard for him, like admitting Steve and Bucky fucked was diminishing his own chances with her in the future. He’s determined to push through though. He’s missed Darcy, missed hanging out, watching movies, discussing things, texting her. 

Darcy nodded to Bucky and Natasha, sitting quietly next to each other and watching the Hawkeyes play beer pong in the corner. 

“That’s the reason we ended it, look at them, how in love they are. I only wish she’d say anything other than ‘ _ I owe him _ ’ when I try to get her to admit it.”

Steve looks closer at the ex-assassins 

It made a lot of sense. Steve didn’t get why Bucky had still spent almost all his time with Darcy at her apartment… reason Bucky was hanging at Darcy’s all the time was because he actually wanted to be with Natasha, who also lived there. Maybe, with a little time, after spending more of it with Darcy, he could maybe, possibly, hopefully, pick up the courage to ask her out himself? 

“And here comes the second reason,” Darcy winked at him before jumping out of the booth and hugging a tall guy Steve had never seen before. Darcy stepped back with a wide smile on her face, before putting her arm through his and dragging him back to the booth.  

“This is Trevor,” she waved a hand in front of him,  he’s working with Stark Industries on a project, and we  _ instantly _ clicked.”

“She insulted my shirt,” Trevor shrugged.

“And you apologized for not having a cool sweater like I did,” Darcy beamed at Trevor as he introduced himself to everybody around the table. 

“Let’s get some drinks!” Darcy dragged him to the bar and left Steve alone to think things over. He cursed himself for starting to have hope, while also feeling relief that the choice was, once again, out of his hands. 

  
God Fucking _ Damnit.  _ He really was the world’s leading authority on waiting too long.

 

 

[Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLEoictM8p4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same song as last chapter, sorry. 
> 
> ‘21’ is a game where all participants sit in a circle and count to 21, whenever you reach 21 you get to make up a rule for another number, like "instead of 5 you have to say potato" and then you need to remember all the rules until you've successfully counted to 21 with all the other numbers exchanged. Every time you fail you have to take a sip and all start over again.


	6. What's New Pussycat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets some sense, literally, knocked into him. Darcy stages a rescue mission. Bucky slowly moves in with the girls and there is ice cream is eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, enjoy! 
> 
> Also I think I only got like two, maybe three, chapters left of this fic! :D

###  **Day 122**

###  _Tuesday 3:16 AM_

Who the fuck was this Trevor guy, anyway?

 

###  **Day 130**

###  _Wednesday, 11:29 AM_

«So, what’s going on with you Steve?» Sam asked casually over their jumbo brunch platters.

«Nothing,» Steve bit out stubbornly, stabbing his chicken tender with extra gusto.

Sam was quiet and still for a whole minute before Steve looked up at his smirk and raised eyebrow.

«What?»

«You just look a little too upset over _nothing_ , is all.”

Steve just sighed.

“Look, man, I know this is about Darcy. I’m not blind.”

Steve didn’t bother trying to deny it. He was completely aware of how transparent he was.

“It’s my own fault,” Steve sighed, “I waited too long.” He then shrugged and stuffed a forkful of eggs into his mouth to get out of speaking.

“C’mon, man. Don’t look so glum. So what, she’s dating? Dating ain’t married.”   
Steve almost choked on his eggs, staring in shock at Sam.

“What?” Sam shrugged.

Steve swallowed, “you can’t possibly be suggesting that I break them up like some crappy romantic comedy.”

“No, I’m just saying that just because she’s dating now, does not mean she’s never ever again going to be single and ready to mingle.”

“Are you saying she’s unable to maintain an adult relationship? Because that is not exactly comforting either.”    
Sam laughed, shaking his head. “No, Steve. I’m not saying that, but what I am going to say though is that Trevor works in California, and Darcy Lives in New York. Long distance relationships are hard, and if Trevor is not the guy for her, then the distance will tell her that.”

Steve took a thoughtful sip of his juice, mulling over what Sam was saying, feeling oddly more hopeful… and a little guilty about it.

###  _12:42 PM_

“Hey Steve, long time no see.” Bucky smiles when Steve enters the apartment. He’s sitting on the couch, legs up on the coffee table and Natasha draped over his lap. They’re watching a Russian sitcom, and Steve takes in the picture the two make. This is the most relaxed he’s ever seen Natasha; maybe except for that time she was knocked out on a mission and left in a coma for two days. But, yeah, awake: this was the most relaxed he’d ever seen her. Bucky too, Steve had seen him relaxed before, but it had been decades since he’s seen his best friend this content. Bucky turns back to the tv and keeps twining his fingers through Natasha’s red hair.

Steve nodded to Natasha, before he made his way to the bathroom for a long deserved shower.

As he’s shaving he can hear laughter from the living room. Bucky’s deep rumble and Natasha’s goofy, honest to god, _giggle_. It scares him a little, seeing (and now hearing) this Natasha, and suddenly it strikes him that he was not the only one deeply affected by Darcy and Bucky’s… fuck-a-friend thing. The closest he’s ever heard Natasha giggle like that, was when they were on the run and posing as an engaged couple honeymooning in New Jersey, but that had been fake.  

Steve started the shower and stripped off his gym clothes, dumping them in the hamper and hoping Bucky would stay long enough to do laundry, severely doubting it as this was the first time he’d seen Bucky at home in over a week. He was busy being happy with Natasha.  
  
Steve decides to cling to this, the happy couple finally being together after decades of hardship; and not on the fact that the reason they were her was probably that Darcy was with Trevor and Natasha wanted to give them space.

###  **Day 133**

###  _Saturday 10:22 AM_

Natasha had brought out her bag of toys for today’s sparring. A huge duffle bag full of weapons, not all blunted, and various items that she lazily threw around in the room. So far Steve had only taken one, rather painful, hit to the face by a metal decorative figure that he could vaguely remember having been used as a paperweight in Darcy’s apartment while Jane still lived there.

«Pay attention.» Natasha snapped as he wiped the blood from under his nose, setting it with a wince and grabbed a lamp as he flipped up to his feet, ready for another round. He jabbed, flipped, threw, kicked, jumped and rolled.  Natasha managed to disarm his lamp and shovel with pair of scissors and then proceeded to choke him with the power cord of his previous weapon.

«You. Need. To. Stop. Moping.  Around. Over. Darcy.” Natasha literally beat into him. Crawling like a, well, spider, over and around him, punctuating each word with a jab or a slap on various parts of his body. “Stay. Focused. On. The fight.»

In his rage towards his own lack of focus, he of course lost what little he had left and was easily brought to the ground with a simple swipe of her feet.

Defeated, he rolls through his fall until he ends up back on his feet again using the momentum to walk away.  

«You wanna talk about it?» Natasha teases, sitting at the edge of the ring, with a slightly mocking smile.

So, as the most annoying thing he could do in retaliation, Steve sits down at the edge of the ring next to her and leans back on the ropes, taking her up on her joking offer.

“Well, I don’t really think I’m going to get over her easily, I’ve tried, really hard, especially when she was with Buck…» Natasha nodded in understanding. Steve thought of the similarities to their situations. How Natasha had pined after the man she couldn’t have for months before they finally got together. But at least they had been together before, when they were two completely different people.

And with that in mind he sighed and voiced something he hadn’t really dared say out loud before.

«I don’t think I can see myself with anybody else, at least not for a long time… Do you think… Am I ever going to get a chance?” he asks, letting Natasha in, opening himself up.

“I think,” Natasha starts, a little taken aback by him giving her a way in, opening like this without her mindgames.

“I think she’d be stupid not to give you one.” She reaches out hesitantly and awkwardly pats his shoulder. «But I think you’re more stupid for not letting her,» and with that she smacked him in the back of the head and left him to tidy up after them.

 

Steve sat there, on the hard edge of the ring, looking at the mess around him and thinking about the mess he’s gotten himself in.

###  **Day 134**

###  _Sunday, 2:34 AM_

There had been another Avengers bonding night at the bar tonight, and Steve had spent the night watching Darcy draped around Trevor. Everything they she did, she did while maintaining some sort of physical contact to her man. When she was laughing with Natasha, joking around with Clint, playing darts. Then when everybody was ready to go home, Steve had managed to fit all five of them into his car, only because Darcy sat on Trevor’s lap. So that’s how he ended up here, watching four of them leave outside Darcy and Natasha’s apartment. Darcy was eagerly dragging Trevor inside, making suggestive faces. Natasha and Bucky looked at them, before they started strolling down the street instead of going inside. And Steve drives away, ignoring Clint’s heartfelt rendition of ‘What’s new Pussycat?’ as turned the car around the corner and headed for Bed-Stuy.

 

“What’s new Pussycat? WOAAAAAAOOAOAOAAAAOOAAAH!”  


###  **Day 143**

###  _Tuesday, 12:06 PM_

“You fed up yet, Cap?” Darcy smirks, idling up to him in her wedge heels and summer dress.

“I was done before I even showed up, Doll,” he jokes back. Darcy laughs, then hands him her drink so she can fix his tie.

“I thought you were from the forties, you should be able to tie your own damn tie straight,” she huffed.

“I’ve been pulling at it all day, it’s too hot out to wear this monkey suit, but it’s expected.”

Darcy reclaimed her drink and leaned against the tree next to him, looking out at the party.  Pepper had arranged a huge 4th of July party in Central Park. There were red, white and blue everythings everywhere, and rich Manhattanites stumbling around in their heels and galla dresses, arm in arm with old white men in dress uniforms. All in all it was a beautiful party and the weather couldn’t be nicer, but since Steve was both born on the 4th of July and happened to be the Captain of the country, people looked to him to be the Epitome of Patriotism. And being the Epitome of Patriotism meant putting on a dress uniform replica from 1945 and shake hands with rich people in Central Park.

“I pity you dude,” Darcy smiled, eyeing his jacket, “they didn’t have to put you in wool.”

“Don’t remind me,” Steve grumbled, readjusting his tie again to mild protests from her, “and I can’t even take off my jacket because I have pit stains about to my elbow and if even one of the photographers caught that then all the news would be reporting on the next month would me my patriotic pit stains.”

Darcy laughed, almost choking on her mimosa, Steve awkwardly patted her back.

“Oh god, I can imagine it!”

“Unless I get a break from this soon, you won’t have too;  there’s a reason why I’m following the shade of this tree.”

Darcy smiled at him. He let himself take her in fully. She was wearing a pretty pink summer dress, and wedges with butterflies to match the one on her hairclip, her makeup was muted, and she was smiling freely, looking so relaxed amongst the stuffy politicians and veterans.

“I’ll rescue you, give me a minute, and Operation: Hiding Eagle, can start.”   
With that she winked and made her way to the other side of the green, smiling and chatting easily with whomever came in her way.

He was impressed, and more than a little envious, of how she handled herself with this crowd. He followed her with his eyes until she made it to Trevor, who was standing by the hotdog grill, eating. Trevor was wearing a muted hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, which looked miles more comfortable, and Steve felt another wave of envy and jealousy come over him as Darcy leaned up and touched his chest, kissing his cheek in greeting. He wondered what Darcy’s plan might be, and was seriously debating just making a run for it, maybe fake an emergency, when his phone beeped in his pocket. He took it out and read the text from Darcy.

 

 

“GO IN 5.”

 

He looked up and saw her discreetly holding up four fingers, then three, two, one, and one of the waiters spilled a glass of red wine all over what looked like a very expensive white dress that the stuffy woman (who’d bragged about her ’marriage material’ daughter to him for fifteen minutes) was wearing. She made a huge fuzz that attracted the attention of everyone around her and Steve glanced to Darcy one last time, catching her eyes and she winked. He was out of there in the next second.

 

 

“Thank you.”

“No worries ;)”

“How did you do it?”

“Paid the waiter $100 while she was talking to you abt her daughter”

  
He smiled at the text, jogging around the corner when his phone beeped again.

 

“Happy birthday btw!”

 

###  **Day 167**

###  _Friday 6:30 PM_

Steve only really sees Darcy at the Tower, running around in heels and on a mission, or on Saturdays when she makes all the Avengers meet up at whatever bar she chose that week. He thinks the main idea is to find the best bar in New York by getting as drunk as possible in every establishment and seeing which establishment best suits their drunk needs. The only input Steve bothers with is the parking space, because he is the designated driver, always.

She is usually accompanied by Trevor, all happy smiles and jokes and handholding. It makes Steve burn with jealousy, but it’s his own fault, and Darcy looks happy so he wasn’t going to mess with that.

“She ain’t married, Steve.”  Sam had, yet again, reminded him during their workout that morning.

Steve is vacuuming the apartment, all his furniture stacked on top of each other, making tiny barricades along the walls so he has easy access. Bucky had all but moved in with Natasha, only ever stopping by for a few change of clothes (not that he had many clothes left here), or he brought Natasha over to let Darcy have have the place for herself… probably to be with Trevor.  He’d just put the vacuum away and started de-stacking when the doorbell buzzed. He frowned, he had no plans today, and Bucky had his own key.

“Hello? Who is it?” He held down the call button.

“It’s Darcy,” and sure, even through the tinny speaker he could recognise her voice.

“Come on up,” he pressed the door buzzer and hurriedly put all the furnitures back in place before she knocked on his door.

Giving the place one last look and wishing he had some warning, he opened the door.

“Darcy, hi,” he smiled, suddenly breathless.

“Hey,” she said back, much less excitedly than him, kicking her flats off and dragging herself over to his couch, flopping down on it like dead fish.

Steve stood there for a moment, still holding the door open, and wondered when to make of this.

“You alright, Darce?”

A long, moaning wail was all that answered him.

“Is Trevor busy?”

Another, longer, moaning wail answered him this time.

Steve closed the door he was still holding open, shutting the July heat out.

He walked over to the couch, peering over the back of it to see Darcy laying facedown on the cushions, hugging a pillow, in fetal position, leaving her with her nicely shaped rear in the air. Steve cleared his throat and looked away, he had no qualms checking out her behind when it was clad in those pencil skirts she wore at work, or a particularly tight pair of jeans, but when her short shorts were riding up and barely covered it, he felt like he shouldn’t be looking.

“You checking out my ass, Cap?” Darcy muttered, only a slightly teasing tone in her voice.

“Always.” Steve answered without hesitation, knowing she’d take it as a joke and nothing else.

She gave a weak snort, and flopped over onto her side, still spooning the pillow, but at least her ass was against the back of the couch. He walked around and sat down gingerly on the coffee table, ignoring the creaks it gave to his weight.    
  
“What happened?”

“Trevor went back to California today. Tony’s going back to his Malibu McMansion in a couple of Days so Trevor has to make the necessary arrangements.”

Steve could faintly hear Sam’s voice echoing in his head, reminding him that a long distance relationship was the make or break of any couple.

“You going to try the long distance?” Steve asked, trying to quell the tiny bubble of hope.

“Well, yeah.” Darcy sighed, playing with the corner of the pillow. Steve looked at her fingers for a few seconds, noting how she'd picked off the nail polish in fret, before he got up and walked into the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” 

“Cookie dough or half baked?” 

“What?”

“Ice cream,” he clarified, taking out both containers from his freezer and grabbing a couple of spoons before coming back to the couch. “I know you’re not here to cry over a break up, but you can still sit here, eat ice cream, watch Netflix, and be sad that your boyfriend had to leave.”

He nudged her knees with his and she sat up enough to give him enough space to sit.

“Usually you have Jane for this sort of thing, but Jane is gone and Natasha is occupied with Bucky-”

“Buckupied,” she grumbled,

“... -sure. So I’m next, right? I’m your friend?” She rolled her eyes and automatically positioned herself in a way that she somehow both leaned on him and sat up on her own. “So, again; Cookie dough or half baked?”

Darcy stared at him for a few seconds, her eyes a bit watery as she smiled and took the cookie-dough and spoon from him.

“There,” he popped the lid on the half baked and took a spoonful, shoving it in his mouth as he leaned over to the decorative bowl Pepper had gotten him that he used to put all the remotes in while barricade-building, snatching the remotes he needed to get the home entertainment system going.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, I just wanna wallow for a couple of days.”

“Thats, fine,” Steve handed her the remotes, letting her decide what they were watching, “let me know if you do.”

“Thank you.” She said, squeezing his knee and he brought the flimsy shawl over them that he basically used as a comfort blanket when it was this hot outside.

“Anytime.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder and ate her ice cream as she watched the start of a film called “The Notebook” and he watched her.

He both hoped and really dreaded that the thing with trevor would work out, because if the alternative was seeing her this glum then he never wanted that for her.

 

But at the same time he’s ashamed of just how damned pleased he is that Trevor is 2500 miles away.

 

  
[ _"What's New Pussycat?"_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBdSqk78nHw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, like Clint, ALSO love singing 'What's New Pussycat' when I'm drunk :) I blame John Mulaney:)


	7. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a sick twist; it's Natasha and Bucky who are lovesick fools and Darcy has to put her foot down... though Steve is not 100% sure how he feels about how she chooses to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *surprise_bitch.gif*  
> *bet_you_thought_youd_seen_the_last_of_me.gif*  
> and  
> *its_been_84_years.gif
> 
> im sorry

###  **Day 185**

_Tuesday 6:16 PM_

 

“How is it that the two sneakiest, most professional, assassins on the planet are also the most obvious, obnoxious lovebirds and incapable of keeping their hands off each other at the same time?!” was the first thing Darcy asked when she let herself into his apartment using what he guessed were Bucky’s keys.

Steve wisely took that as a rhetorical question and simply got two glasses of lemonade out of the fridge as she flopped down on the couch and started fanning herself with her StarkPad. It was the middle of August, and incredibly hot outside. Darcy was wearing another of her shorts and off the shoulders top combo that she had been unknowingly torturing him with the past two weeks.

He’d seen a lot of girls wearing them when out jogging with Sam and he’d thought it was odd to see so many ladies wearing skirts around their shoulders. They looked incredibly impractical, like raising their arms would expose them to the world, but then Darcy had showed up in his local corner shop last week wearing one and complaining about the heat.  Steve realised he was a huge fan of this modern fashion wave, spending too much time letting his eyes roam over her exposed shoulders and imagining burying his face in the crook of her neck. He’d only torn his eyes away when she’d waved two bottles of cheap wine in his face and asked him which looked less gross.   

And again Steve looked at the expanse of exposed skin and had to shake himself out of his staring.

 “Thanks,” she said, sending him a grateful look before she started gulping down on the lemonade he handed her. He flopped down on the couch next to her, taking a sip of his own lemonade.

It was not uncommon for Darcy to hang out at his apartment lately, complaining about being sexiled. Today was no exception. He let her rant about Natasha’s continued ‘Buckupation’ as he channel surfed until she’d run out of steam.  

“Oh wait go back,” Darcy said suddenly, and Steve flicked back a few channels until she told him to stop. They are showing reruns of a show called The Office and after suffering through two commercial breaks she impatiently logs onto his netflix and find the show there.

“You should see it from the beginning anyway,” she tells him and drops the remote on the table before flopping back down on the couch, this time with her head resting on his thigh and he instinctively puts a pillow in his lap, she completely, naively, misconstrues the action and pulls herself further up so her head is resting on the pillow instead.

Steve spends the next 40 minutes half watching two episodes of The Office, and half forcing himself to stop staring at her shoulder and pretending not to see her chatting with Trevor on her StarkPad. When she gets up and wanders into his kitchen to pick up some of his take-out menus he is equally relieved and disappointed.

 

###  **Day 186**

_Wednesday 17:06PM_

 

He was called away, its a small mission, just a few rogue agents and it’s only him, Natasha and Sam. Bucky is agitated, itching to come with them but he’s got another few months to wait until he gets the chance to be cleared for the field. He’d fiercely kissed Natasha goodbye and whispered what sounded like dirty promises to her in Russian, she in turn had rolled her eyes and slipped out of his arms to join Steve on the quinjet.

When Steve comes home he is not stupid enough to expect Bucky to be there waiting for him, so the smell of cooking surprises him when he unlocks his front door. 

“Good, you’re home, and in one piece!” Darcy exclaims and drags him down into a bone crushing hug before pushing him to the kitchen and forcing him into a chair. She is dumping a mountain of pasta on his plate before his brain catches up to him.

Darcy waited for him, again, and cooked. And Steve aches with want, with need. Not just for her but for this, for someone to come home to, someone to fuss over him without being patronising. Someone to distract him from his ‘commander’ responsibilities and chat about everything and nothing.

Coming home to Darcy after a mission is something he wanted to have forever.

 

### Day 188

_Friday 7:45 PM_

 

Bucky is in their apartment for once, Steve had almost forgotten that he lives here, barely having seen him in the past two weeks. Steve had been listening to music with his noise cancelling headphones, and probably would not have even known Bucky had been by had he not ventured into the living area to get his sketchpad and seen Bucky coming out of his bedroom with a small backpack over his shoulder.

“Buck-?”

“Hey Stevie, we forgot to do laundry so I’m just getting some fresh clothes.” Bucky explained before walking towards the door. He’s got his shoes back on and left before Steve he basically lives alone. Shrugging he vows to make Bucky promise to spend time with him tomorrow, when they are all meeting for bar night anyway.

 

### Day 189

_Saturday 1:32 AM_

 

The doorbell rings. Steve squints at the alarm clock wondering who it is, the doorbell rings insistently again and Steve heaves himself out of bed and throws a pair of pyjamas trousers and a t-shirt before he walks up to the door and removing the deadbolt and doorchain. When he opens the door it is to an agitated Darcy with a duffle bag at her feet.

“That’s it!” she exclaims, stomping past him into his apartment. Steve grabs her duffle and follows her, locking the door behind them.

“I’m sorry I woke you, Steve,” she continues ranting, not sounding sorry at all, “I haven’t slept well lately myself. In fact, I haven’t slept peacefully in my own bed at night for WEEKS. I’m moving. Here. Into Bucky’s room. Because the moment I set my bag in there I have more personal belongings claiming the room than Bucky does.”

Steve blinks, and doesn’t put up a fight as she takes her duffle from him and staggers over to Bucky’s door.

He follows her, mind reeling, panicked. 

She opens the door and Steve is surprised to see that Bucky’s room looks like Jane’s room before Natasha moved in. Oddly empty. The dresser is open and the drawers barely have anything in them, same with the wardrobe. The only things hanging there are the formal tuxedo that Pepper had made both him and Bucky get in case of special occasions and the warm, retro dress uniform that Pepper got them in case of special occasions _with veterans_. Both look unused.

Darcy drops her bag and starts stripping Bucky’s bed, and Steve just gets new sheets out of the bottom drawer in Bucky’s dresser and quietly helps her remake the bed, all the while internally repeating to himself;

_Shit, I’m fucked._

####  _8:05 PM_

 

Steve had spent most of the day driving Bucky and his dresser and miscellaneous objects to Natasha’s apartment and Darcy and her stuff back to his.

 _Theirs_. 

Bucky had taken the whole thing in stride, he looked at Natasha and smirked and Natasha had smirked back, and just like that they had agreed to officially start co-habitating. Natasha had then looked between Darcy and Steve before looking back to Bucky and Bucky frowned back before meeting Steve’s gaze and Steve was both impressed and scared of all the information they had apparently managed to convey in .5 seconds. 

“I’d love to live with Nat, that is if Steve is okay with it?”

And Steve realised this was the opportunity he had to speak up, to stop this from happening to avoid the torture of living with the woman he loved while she remained oblivious and dated some guy named Trevor who lived in 2500 miles away.

“Fuck Steve,” Darcy gasped, dropping the box she was holding. Her eyes big and worried as she stared at him. “I’m sorry! I forgot to ask! I’ve been escaping to your apartment so often that it felt like I was basically already living there and I should have talked it o-”

But the day he’d come home after the battle with the sea monster weeks ago came to his mind. He remembered seeing Darcy sleep on the couch and wanting to curl up against her, and the feeling he had a few days ago after the latest mission tugged insistently at his heart. The feeling of coming home to Darcy.

 

And before he could really make up his mind he interrupted her apology. “No, it’s no problem, it’s like you said, you are have basically already started moving in.”

 

But as Darcy throws herself around his middle in a hug and thanks him again and again, Steve catches Natasha’s eyes and there is something he can’t quite decipher there, but he is pretty sure it is pity, so he looks away away and continues carrying boxes down to the car.

 

### Day 191

_Monday 10:09 AM_

 

“So you like her,” Sam summerises as they stretch after their jog. Steve has just filled him in on the events of the weekend.

“Yes.”

“Since forever,” Sam continues.

“Pretty much,” Steve says, _four years, eight days and about nine hours_ , he thinks.

“And she fucked Bucky,”

Steve sighs.

“Now she’s with Trevor”

“... Sam-”

“And she’s _living with you!_ ”

Sam…”

“Oh man you’re _fucked!_ ”

“...I know,” Steve murmurs as Sam gives up and starts laughing, hugging himself with the hilarity of Steve’s hopeless situation.

 

###  **Day 193**

_Wednesday 2 AM_

 

Not even one whole week after Darcy moves in with Steve, she knocks on his door in the middle of the night and asks if he could to keep her company.

He gets up immediately, eyes bleary with sleep, but is instantly alert when he sees her puffy, red eyes and messy hair.

She returns to the living room while he gets some pyjamas bottoms and a t-shirt on, and he finds her curled on the couch nursing a huge container of ice cream, The Notebook playing on the TV. 

Steve sits down next to her and simply pulls her into his arms as she silently weeps and eats her ice cream.

“We broke up.” She sighs as the man in the movie stands in front of his completed house.

He thinks the next time he sees Trevor he is going to ‘accidentally’ drop his shield on his foot… or his face.

He is not even happy that Darcy is single again, not when it means hearing these stuttering breaths as she tries to stop crying into her ice cream.

 

 _She’s not married,_ Sam’s voice echoes in his head, but Steve pushes the thought away and just holds her closer.

 

He doesn't move until Darcy is sleeping soundly and the end credits are rolling. But he only takes the melted ice cream container out of her limp hands and places it on the coffee table and switches of the TV before burrowing deeper into the couch and falling asleep with Darcy drooling slightly on his chest and his arms around her, holding her tight.

 

            [Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlpgNsJsNKI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not given up on this, or any other fics i have, but due to moving, uni, illness, and actually trying to do the dating thing (and failing due to the before mentioned illness and impossible high standards set by fictional characters) I am slowly easing myself back into writing. I've missed it, and I hate the guilty feeling I get whenever I see my drafts for chapters. 
> 
> Thank you to all who still give me kudos and comments even though I have not posted for over a year!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment, please, feed my ego!  
> As always I am [foreverdrunkatheart](http://www.foreverdrunkatheart.tumblr.com) and [hannahsfandos](http://www.hannahsfandos.tumblr.com) on tumblr, come fangirl with me!


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